When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
