if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
