a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
