I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
