they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
