So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
