I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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