it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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