the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
