So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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