Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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