Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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