If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
only if we run a train.
done.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
