I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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