we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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