i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
