This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
