Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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