Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
