hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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