my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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