Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I understand Curling. That high.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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