His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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