please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
