a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
