Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
