after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
