i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
