two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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