Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
