I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
