Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
