Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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