It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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