Will you blow on my dice?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
