we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize