I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
