Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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