1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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