so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
