I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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