Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize