I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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