I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize