I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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