its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize