Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The air was thick with penises
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
