Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
