The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
