JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
