i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
