you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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