No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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