They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
