Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
