Plan B is the new Plan A
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Every concussion has its silver lining
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
