Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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