A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
