I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
