That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Found the puke drawer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize