Ketchup is God's man juice
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
