My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
