its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
