so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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