you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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